Strong Enough
by Kelcat
Summary: Anders receives a gruesome scar when fighting the battle at Vigil's Keep, and it's up to Nathaniel to prove he loves his mage no matter what.


One of the fluffiest, sappiest kmeme fills I've done to date: "This anon would like something flufftastic involving her two favorite Wardens; with an M!Warden taking Nate to defend Amaranthine, and when they return Nathaniel seeing his beloved had gotten hurt or disfigured or something. I want Nate to be the sappiest man alive and tell Anders that he still loves him, and then make love to him in the most gentle and beautiful way he knows how...I then want Nate to propose to Anders, and promise to sweep him off to Rivain or Orlais to get married."

* * *

Nathaniel fought hard to hide the anxiety he was feeling. "Commander, if Amaranthine is truly lost we should return to the Keep. If they're under attack we'd be of more use there." Which was true of course, but it wasn't the whole truth. The other reason he wanted to go back was because of what, or more specifically who, was there.

Aedan looked at him sternly. "The Keep's as fortified as it can possibly be, and Wade's made sure all of the guards are well outfitted. But look at these people," Aedan gestured to the handful of peasants scattered around the city gates. "They're armed with pitchforks and kitchen knives, for Andraste's sake, they don't stand a chance of surviving without our help."

Nate was chagrined. The Commander was right, of course, even if they only managed to save a handful of citizens here it was far better than abandoning them. And if Anders had been here Nate would never have urged them to do so. It had taken every ounce of willpower he had to refrain from protesting when Aedan decided to leave Anders at the Keep.

He still didn't understand why the Commander had made the decision to not bring Anders, he was a much more competent healer than Velanna. Maybe he hadn't expected things to be so dire in Amaranthine. Or perhaps he hadn't wanted to risk the Wardens losing their best mage. Whatever the reason, the two lovers had been separated, and it had not been an easy thing for either of them.

_They only had a minute in which to say goodbye. Nathaniel led the two of them into a small alcove so they could have some privacy before he wrapped his arms around Anders' waist._

_Anders ran a finger down Nate's jaw line before cupping his face. "Be careful Nathaniel, please. I know you like being a hero and all," he smiled, "but don't do anything stupid okay?"_

_Nate chuckled. "I won't. And I'll be back before you know it, you probably won't even notice I'm gone."_

_Anders frowned. "I doubt that."_

_Nate smiled, trying to reassure him. "I'll come back to you, Anders, I promise."_

_Cupping the back of Anders' head Nate pulled him into a kiss, memorizing the taste of the mage's lips on his own. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. "I love you Anders."_

_Anders smiled sadly. "Love you too."_

_Finally releasing Anders, Nate turned and walked over to where Aedan was waiting. As they left the Keep he didn't look back, afraid that if he saw Anders watching him he wouldn't be able to bring himself to leave._

And now here they were, headed to the Dragonbone Wastes to fight something called 'The Mother', and hopefully end this once and for all. They had saved as many people in Amaranthine as they could—which was far more than they had anticipated. Many of the people had hidden in their homes and the infection had not spread as far as the Constable had originally thought.

Nate hadn't protested when the Commander declared they would press on to fight The Mother. He was right—if they didn't take care of this now, the darkspawn would just regroup and then both Amaranthine _and_ the Keep would be lost.

He did everything he could to keep thoughts of Anders out of his mind, trying to focus instead on the battle ahead. It was hardest at night, when there was nothing to occupy his mind. It was then that his thoughts strayed to his lover. He knew there was a good chance none of them would be coming back from this fight; he was not afraid to die, but he _was_ afraid to leave Anders alone.

And what if he were to lose Anders? All they had heard before leaving Amaranthine was that the darkspawn were attacking the Keep. He had no way of knowing how the battle there was going. His heart ached every time he thought of it. He didn't know what he'd do if Anders were to—

But he couldn't let himself think about that, couldn't bear the thought of living without his beloved.

oOoOo

Their battles with the Architect and The Mother were gruesome and brutal, not to mention exhausting. But none of them complained about the grueling pace Aedan set on their return journey to the Keep. All of them were anxious to get back and find out what was going on.

Nate was hopeful when they approached the Keep. There were no darkspawn in sight and the outer walls were still standing. It wasn't until they were at the gates that he saw the damage. The gates themselves had been destroyed and the inner courtyard was in shambles.

Nate raced into the Keep and through the main hall, his panic building as he saw the piles of rubble and collapsed wooden beams. "Anders? Anders!" Nate yelled, eyes casting wildly about for signs of the mage.

He spotted a familiar diminutive shape and rushed over to her. "Sigrun! Where's Anders?" He couldn't keep the anxiety out of his voice.

Sigrun turned, relief shining in her eyes at seeing that Aedan and the rest of the party had returned safely. "He's upstairs," she had a strange look in her eyes. "Um, he's…been there for a while." Nathaniel didn't bother trying to figure out what she meant—he raced to the staircase, taking the steps two at a time.

He practically sprinted down the hallway to their room and flung the door open. He looked around the room frantically—there! Anders was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, his head cradled in his hands.

"Anders!" Nate cried with relief. He crossed the room in a flash, pulling the mage out of the chair and into his arms. Clutching him tightly Nate buried his face against Anders' neck. "Thank the Maker," he choked out.

Anders' arms came up around him, pulling him tight. "Nate," he murmured, unbelieving, "you're here. When we heard where you were all heading after Amaranthine…I thought you…you're really _here_!"

Nate smiled, tightening his hold. "I told you I'd come back to you, Mage. I don't break my promises." He pulled back to look at Anders, to reassure himself that his lover was safe and whole. Anders turned his head away, eyes cast downward.

"What's wrong?" Nate asked, concerned. Anders just shook his head, still not meeting Nate's eyes.

Nate grasped Anders' chin, turning the mage to look at him. It was then that he saw what was wrong. Along the right side of Anders' face was a jagged scar, stretching from his chin all the way up into his scalp. The hair on that side had been cropped short. Nate looked at the healed wound, horrified.

"Pretty bad, huh?" Anders smiled humorlessly.

Nate reached up to trace his finger along the scar but Anders flinched and turned his head away. "What happened?"

Anders sighed and rested his head on Nate's shoulder. "The darkspawn broke into the courtyard," Anders explained quietly, "there was this huge ogre, biggest I'd ever seen, and it was clad in armor."

Nate nodded his head, remembering the monstrosities they'd encountered in the Wastes.

"I was shielded," Anders continued, "but there were just too many darkspawn. I used up all my mana trying to protect the soldiers, and my shield failed. Before I could grab a lyrium potion the ogre was almost on top of me. It snagged me with one of its claws—Andraste's ass, it felt as if my entire head had been split open.

"Anyway, I blacked out and next thing I knew it was two days later. Apparently Justice and Sigrun saw me go down and they took out the ogre. Sigrun said she thought I was dead, I was bleeding so much. She got a poultice on me—Garavel had to cut some of my hair off to get at the wound. By the time I woke up it had pretty much healed, but since I didn't have the chance to heal it magically it wound up scarring."

Nate was stunned to hear how close Anders had come to dying. His face twisted into a frown as he thought about what he'd almost lost.

Anders pulled back from Nate and bit at his lower lip. "You think I'm hideous, now, don't you."

Nate blinked. "What? No! Of course not!"

Anders barked out a bitter laugh. "Right. That's why you're looking at me like I disgust you."

"Anders, no. I'm not—I promise." He cupped Anders' face with both hands. "Look at me," he waited until Anders' eyes met his own, "I don't think you're hideous, and you don't disgust me."

Anders sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I'm being childish, I know. All those people that died defending the Keep and I'm whining about a scar." He frowned. "It's just that it's so…horrible looking. And noticeable. It's all anyone seems to see when they look at me. Sigrun kept telling me how sorry she was and everyone kept staring at me…and pitying me…that's when I started hiding out in here."

He turned his face away from Nate once again. "And now everyone's going to look at you the same way. They'll probably think the only reason you don't leave me is because you feel sorry for me." He choked back a sob. "And they'll be right."

"Anders, that's not true—"

Frowning, Anders shook his head. "It's okay, Nate. If you want to go…it's okay."

Nate shook his head violently. "_Never_. How could you even think I would leave you?" He reached up to brush a tear from Anders' cheek.

Anders' usual stubbornness was back. "I don't want you staying just because you feel sorry for me," he said, scowling. "And…I don't want you to look at me differently."

"I'm not Anders," he wrapped his arms around the mage's waist, looking at him intently. "You are an incredibly handsome man," he smiled, "and that won't change, even if you have a dozen scars. But it doesn't matter to me what you look like. That's not why I fell in love with you."

Anders looked at him sadly. "Why did you?"

"Because—" Nate hesitated. He was not good with words, with expressing his feelings. It wasn't something that was encouraged by his parents growing up. But he knew Anders needed to hear it. To be reassured that Nate didn't think any less of him because of what had happened.

"Because you're caring and thoughtful," Nate smiled gently, "you have a…a presence about you that's sure and _confident_." He stressed that last word. "And because you make me feel like I have _worth_. After everything my father did, most people look at me and all they see is my father. But you see _me_. Just like I see _you_. You…you make me want to be a better man."

Anders looked at him surprised. "You _are _a good man, you always have been. Frankly, I never understood why you wanted _me_."

Nate hugged him tight. "You're everything I've ever wanted, Anders, everything I've ever needed. And I've never cared about someone as much as I care about you. And I will never leave you, _never_. No matter what."

Anders was crying again, but he looked more hopeful than he had before. "Really?"

Nate nodded. "Really." Brushing Anders' face with his thumb he leaned in and kissed him—gently at first, but it soon became heated as they both sought to deepen the kiss. They both needed this, needed this contact after being separated for so long. And after all of the pain that they had both suffered recently.

Nate kissed along Anders' jaw, careful to avoid the scar so as not to draw attention to it. He ran his tongue along the shell of Anders' ear before nipping lightly at the lobe. Anders gasped and tightened his hold on Nate.

Nate ran his hands down Anders' chest before reaching for the ties on his robe, unlacing them with practiced ease. Sliding the robes off Anders' shoulder he kissed the mage's neck, nipping hard enough to leave a mark.

Anders began undoing the buckles on Nate's armor and soon they were both nude, wrapped in each other's arms, pressed together skin against skin. Lips locked in a fervent kiss, Nate pulled Anders onto to the bed. He stretched out over Anders, running his hands along his lover's chest and arms.

It had been too long since they had been together, and Nate was determined to reacquaint himself with every inch of Anders' body. Finally breaking their kiss Nate dragged his lips along the mucles of Anders' chest, suckling upon first one nipple and then the other. Anders' moans were music to his ears, and Nate set out to drag as many from him as possible.

He nipped and licked at every spot on Anders' body that Nate knew were sensitive—the inside of his thighs, his hips, his neck. Returning his attention to the mage's lips Nate lightly grasped Anders' erection, gently stroking it. Anders moaned in appreciation and bucked his hips up into Nate's hand, wanting more.

Nate moved down the bed so that his head was level with Anders' groin and proceeded to take the mage's length into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the tip, teasing the slit before slowly easing his mouth down the length. Anders groaned and grasped at one of Nate's hand, clutching it tightly as he writhed beneath him.

Nate continued his ministrations for a little while longer before pulling away. He reached over to the bedside table and pulled a bottle of oil from the drawer. He drizzled a bit on his fingers before putting the bottle aside.

He reached down to Anders' entrance, slowly massaging the ring of muscle there over and over. He smiled as Anders made an impatient noise and he slowly pressed one finger inside. He slid his finger in and out several times before adding another, gently stretching the mage. Anders rocked his hips which allowed Nate to press even further inside, and soon he had found that sensitive spot that made Anders cry out with pleasure.

Anders grasped at Nate's other hand and looked at him imploringly. "Please, Nate," he whispered, "I need you." Nate's eyes flashed with desire. Removing his fingers he picked up the oil once again, coating his stiffened length with it.

He bent down and kissed Anders deeply before slowly pressing inside. When he was completely seated inside the mage he paused, staring deeply into Anders' eyes for a long moment. He gradually pulled back before slowly, slowly pushing inside once again, refusing to rush this. As badly as he wanted his lover he was determined to take his time, to savor this.

Nate set an easy, leisurely rhythm—gentle and unrushed. Anders pulled him down for short kisses in between his moans of pleasure. Nate groaned at the feeling of Anders' tight heat around him and he found himself close to the edge. Grasping Anders' hips he changed the angle of his thrusts until he was hitting that spot inside Anders.

Anders was gasping now, moaning Nate's name over and over. He reached down and took himself in hand, stroking himself in time with Nate's thrusts. Nate's pace became erratic as he neared his climax and a few more thrusts had him groaning loudly, releasing deep inside his lover. Anders came quickly after that, crying out in ecstasy.

Catching his breath Nate leaned down and captured Anders' lips in a kiss before gently pulling out of him. He settled onto the bed on his back, pulling Anders close to him. Anders rested his head on Nate's chest, one arm curled around his waist.

Nate wrapped his arms around Anders and squeezed him gently. Running a finger along Anders' jaw, Nate tilted the mage's head up to look at him. "I love you, Anders, more than anything."

Anders smiled gently. "I love you too. How could I not?" he chuckled. "You always know how to make me feel better."

Nate laughed at that. "I try my best." His lids were growing heavy, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He laid there with Anders cradled in his arms, reflecting on the relief he felt to be back with his mage. He silently thanked the Maker for bringing them both through this ordeal. The thought of losing Anders, of even being apart from him was too much for him to bear. He turned that over in his mind before coming to a decision.

"Marry me," he said.

Anders picked his head up and stared at Nate questioningly. "What?"

Nate smiled. "You heard me, Mage, marry me."

Anders shook his head, disbelievingly. "Nate, we can't. There is no way the Chantry is going to let two men marry—especially when one of them is an apostate."

"I don't care," Nate said determinedly. "The Fereldan Chantry might not marry us, but we could go somewhere else; Antiva maybe, or Rivain. They have more relaxed attitudes there, I hear."

"You're serious, aren't you?" Anders questioned, "This is really what you want?"

Nate tightened his hold. "More than I've ever wanted anything. You're everything to me Anders, and I don't ever want to be apart from you again. I have no idea what lies ahead for us, after everything that happened. The Keep and Amaranthine are both going to need to be rebuilt, and who knows what the fate of the Wardens will be after this?"

He kissed Anders' shoulder. "But I know that no matter what else, I want my future to be with you. No matter what happens, or where we go or what we do, I want us to do it together."

Anders' eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were of happiness instead of sorrow. "I want that too."

Nate's heart swelled with joy. "So you'll marry me?"

Anders nodded, smiling softly. "Of course."

Nate grinned widely and kissed him. "We'll leave in the morning," he said after pulling away.

"What about everything here? The Commander's most likely going to want us to stay."

Nate shook his head. "Doesn't matter. The Keep and all its problems will still be here when we get back. And doing this with you is more important than anything else."

Anders grinned. "I suppose we've both earned a bit of a vacation. Maybe we could go to other places, too."

"So long as we're together we can go anywhere you want," Nate murmured before finally succumbing to sleep, still holding tight to his lover.


End file.
